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_Loki_
06-17-2010, 09:12 AM
I got this in an email today & I hope it is true. It seemed an appropriate post for the bugs forum. Perhaps YOU dear reader are a pilot at QUANTAS :)

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Qantas Airlines: Repair Division

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.


P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

The Minder
06-17-2010, 08:57 PM
Say after me:

QANTAS

not:

QUANTAS


<-- is an Aussie

Btw, Qantas has had accidents, but never had loss of life because of a crash. Is also the 2nd oldest international airline in the world... first being KLM.

_Loki_
06-17-2010, 09:11 PM
Ooops I apologise - there are few Q's without U's

This is interesting I thought:
About Qantas - Our Company - History - The Inspiration (http://www.qantas.com.au/travel/airlines/history-inspiration/global/en)